Gaining

During middle school, I was taunted by some boys who called me a 'pirates dream' and a 'carpenters dream'. I initially had no idea what it all meant but was told by another boy that it was because I was so thin, flat chested; similar to a sunken chest or flat as a board. I became so self conscious of my body and avoided boys whenever possible. While other girls were always complaining about not being able to lose weight, I would struggle to gain. They all looked so healthy and vibrant, always had boyfriends and the social life I wanted. Even through high school and college, when ever I might receive a compliment on my appearance I would sabotage it by tearing myself down and pointing out my 'faults'. I still have great difficulty wearing a swimsuit and am unable to do so in public.